I'm not gonna lie. I am struggling. Sometimes I feel like I need an intervention. I think I'm at a low point - maybe this will be rock bottom? I just can not get it together. I honestly think I need to eat more during the day. Well, more good things. I end up bringing a sandwich for lunch and that's just about all I eat until around 2:00 after the kids leave. Then I find myself looking for just about anything to munch on in the room (which is limited because I know myself). Then by the time I come home before I know it, I'm in the middle of a mini-binge. Afterwards I can't believe what I just ate. Not necessarily the quantity, but the weird randomness of it. Cheese, nuts, leftovers, pretzels, an English muffin..whatever I can find. Then about two hours later I eat a full meal for dinner. I know how wrong that is.
I have no energy. none. I am anemic, so I'm wondering if my iron is particularly low again. Once it was so low that my doctor put me on an intensive therapy as a last step before a blood transfusion. I remember around that time I had no energy. It was October. At our class party I couldn't even get it together to get my camera out of the bag to take pictures. I always look back on that time with such sadness. That kind of extreme exhaustion and malaise is also very mentally draining. I'm not quite at that point yet, but I'm getting close. I did go for lab work just after Christmas, so I need to make an appt to see how it went.
If it wasn't for what I get accomplished in the virtual world, I think I'd really be feeling like a total waste. I do feel productive in my classroom and I know I'm doing well with my students, but at the end of the day, I'm completely drained. I'm completely over this, yet I feel like I'm fighting myself to change. If I was listening to someone else say this I'd smack them and tell them to just get it together already. Any takers?