So, I've been dancing around the obvious. I've been hemming and hawing and looking for diet plans to try. I considered HGC until I read about the cost and the 500 calorie a day diet that I'm sure I would not be able to follow. All of this is pretty pointless. As I mentioned, I had gastric bypass surgery years ago - the whole dealio, all rerouted. I had an upper GI recently which confirmed that all of my new-ish plumbing is still intact and as good as the day I had surgery. What? Then how have I gained so much and how can I eat so much?
Well, it's not rocket science. I've been doing pretty much the opposite of everything I was told to do as a newbie pre-op. I have fallen into some seriously terrible habits that have got to stop. I was doing some research to find experiences of peeps like myself and stumbled upon this site - the Surgical Weight Loss Pouch Test Diet. As I read through most of the site, I feel like literally smacking myself. I've been fighting against what I've been given. I didn't come about the surgery easily. There was at least a year of doctor's appointments, insurance arguments, psychologist visits and endless paperwork before I had the surgery. The recovery was no joke. I had the full open surgery, so I had a giant wound and some serious pain to contend with along with adjusting to a whole new lifestyle. I did it though. I did great, actually. And now...well, now I've got to do that again. I'm starting with the five day pouch test on the site. The first two days are all liquids. I may need some extra "you can do this" vibes from anyone who may be reading. I can do this, right? I have to do this.
I recently met some pretty amazing professional goals I set for myself. I don't have that feeling of success so often. You know what? It feels pretty great. It feels pretty amazing, actually, and it feels damn empowering. I'm going to try to ride this high and let it carry over to my personal life. I am desperate to become the person I want to be and I'm sick of being the one holding myself back.
So, I had a great weekend of "last suppers" topped off with a Dove ice-cream bar and I'm ready to make a break from this kind of gluttony and self indulgence and take some solid steps into a better, healthier, happier future. Fingers crossed!