I'm Supposed to Get Right Back at It

So yesterday I bitched and complained and cried about how sloooooowwww the weight is coming off. It was my birthday. So I had a boycott day. I was a rebel. I had a sausage pizza from my very favorite pizza place. My snack was a nice fatty Starbucks. Then some cold leftover pizza. Then for dinner? A big juicy hamburger and real FRIED french fries from Shake Shack. Oh, I'm not even done. On the way home, we stopped at Cheesecake Factory and took home a big ol' slab of calories. Here's my chubby cheeks blowing out the candle.

It was good. All of it. It was like old times before I broke up with restaurants and eating like a hog. I was secretly hoping that at some point during the day I would feel sick and think - "see this is why I'm eating healthy!" but guess what. I didn't. I liked it...

This is kind of funny - Jeff bought me two new Leslie Sansone power walking tapes. I really wanted to just preview them a little to see which one we'd start with. So we watched them while we ate our cheesecake. So wrong that it almost felt right.

I think I could safely say yesterday was a binge. But something was different this time. Normally a binge like that for me means a few more days (a month, a year?) of horrible binge-like eating. But I kind of knew all day yesterday that this was a one shot deal. It was my birthday, I was mad at not seeing results, and I purposely ate whatever I wanted. I even still entered it into  My Fitness Pal because I didn't want to lose my 34 day streak! I had never seen that angry red line before... oops!

So my intentional one day birthday/pity party binge is over. And today I'm not feeling mad or pissed or even like it will be hard to get back on track. I'm ready to make some changes to my diet - really be more mindful of the clean eating strategy, say tootles to Starbucks for a while, and guzzle water like an elephant. I'll be lacing up my sneakers in a bit to pound some tile with Leslie. And I'll get on the scale next Saturday and hopefully be rewarded for my effort. Right?

I'm Supposed to See Results

Yeah, supposed to but NOT! I have been at this healthy new lifestyle of mine for 34 days now. See?

That's 34 days of exercising twice a day, just about every day and counting EVERY.SINGLE.CALORIE I've eaten. And I've lost a grand total of 10 pounds. Not even, it's 9.6. My Fitness Pal rounds up...

I have to say, I'm a bit discouraged. Not really for the 10 pounds. If I could lose 10 pounds in a month, every month, I'd be a happy camper. The problem is that over the last three weeks, I've only lost a total of two pounds. Three weeks of HARD work for two pounds? So each of the last three weeks when I weighed myself (on Saturdays only) I'm seeing the scale nudge under a half pound each time. When you've got a crapton to lose like me, that's some slow ass progress. I keep hoping that one Saturday I'll lose some crazy amount like 3 or 4 pounds to make up for it, but no.  Ready for this? What happened this week? On my flippin' birthday, no less? I GAINED a pound! For serious?!

Is this a test of my patience? my faith? my commitment to a healthy lifestyle? I'm putting in the work - the hard work - for the first time in a long time. I'm not following some fad diet, no pills, or potions. I'm doing it the "right" way for the first time... and I'm not seeing results. That's disheartening.

I gave up my whole summer to devote myself to getting on track. I didn't go to Vegas with all of my teacher friends. I haven't taken a vacation. I haven't even gone away for a day trip with my husband! I really wanted to go back to school with some noticeable results to show for all of my sacrifice, all of my effort, but it's not looking like that's going to happen. Makes me kinda want to cry.

I'm not even seeing those "non-scale victories". My clothes feel about the same. I think I look the same. I do feel a little better. I have more energy and I'm proud of the level of rigorous (for me) exercise I've worked up to - but I NEED real results. Like pounds lost, loose clothes, bubble butt shrinking results. 

Strangely, it's not enough yet to make me give up. This is the longest time that I can remember that I've been consistent with exercise and healthy eating and I'm not quite ready to throw it all away. Oh, I've cried and pouted and thrown a massive hissy fit - but I'm not ready to give up. 

I'm going to keep chugging along. I'm going to up my water intake next week and cut out my beloved Starbucks (even though it's way skinnied down already). I can't say I'll exercise more - I think twice a day is enough. I did make a doctor's appointment to see if maybe, just maybe there's a medical reason this is happening? Maybe I'll step on the scale next week and be rewarded with a big ol' drop and I'll feel elated. Or maybe it will be less than half a pound and I'll cry in my coffee again. Only time will tell...

I'm Supposed to Cook

I actually like to cook. There's a weird sense of satisfaction that comes with preparing a meal at home and knowing it's so much better for you and way less expensive than a restaurant meal. Now this comes from a person who, for the last few years, has eaten the majority of her meals in restaurants. I'm not even joking. There were weekends when hubs and I would eat out three meals a day. Why? Laziness. Convenience. Lack of planning ahead. And we happen to live in an area with a crapton of great restaurants. Oh, and we just plain love food. a lot.

One thing I know for sure is that restaurant food has so many hidden calories. When we were attempting to  "be good" a server we became friendly with told us that they dip the steaks in butter before serving! No wonder they're so much juicier than the ones I make at home, right?

So now that it's summer, I've been experimenting a little in the kitchen. Jeff is a meat & potatoes kind of guy so sometimes Im pretty choosy about what I cook because I want to be sure he enjoys it too. {Am I a good wife or what?} Today Im sharing one of the recipes I made recently that we both really loved. It's this Spicy Baked Shrimp {recipe}

I'm seriously picky when it comes to shrimp. It has to have that firm texture that pops when you bite into it, and when it's cooked this way it totally does. I start with a bag of frozen, uncooked EZ Peel shrimp from Sam's, defrost and peel and then just follow the recipe pretty much as written. I did leave out the cayenne pepper, mostly because I didn't have it - and it was spicy enough for me without. I entered the recipe into a calorie calculator and found that if you divide it into four servings, each serving has 344 calories. Not so bad! I served it with my famous roasted broccoli and some frozen polenta from Trader Joes and the whole yummy satisfying meal came to 469 calories.

I made it again last night with some green beans and low fat Rice a Roni and it was just as yummy. It heats up pretty good for lunch the next today too. This recipe is also quick and easy so I can see it being a good go-to once school is back in session. Give it a try and let me know what you think!