Thursday, December 22, 2011

I'm supposed to be surrounded by friends

Well, I outed myself and now I have some company! Hi TBTS friends! I wasn't sure I was quite ready to have guests, but I dig you guys. It's a bit scary to write publicly about my biggest disappointment, my biggest obstacle, my biggest failure. It's true that it's glaringly obvious to the people I see everyday, but online {with carefully cropped pictures} I feel like the person I really am supposed to be: witty, breezy, carefree. successful. I am those things in real life, but the weight just drags me down, physically and metaphorically. I can't tell you all how much it means to read your supportive comments and emails. I love how some of you also opened up about your struggles, weight-wise and otherwise. I always think of that saying - Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some type of battle.

I should clarify and let you all know I'm not exactly homebound and I'm pretty sure that I'm not a candidate for my own TLC special just yet. Have you seen those? The Half-Ton Teen, The 650 Pound Virgin, One Big Happy Family... I watch those with such a combination of fascination, pity, fear and strange understanding.
So, here's me currently. My team all dressed as Flo from Progressive for Halloween. I'm the fat Flo in the middle. Notice how I'm wearing a different apron from the rest of my team? I had to HUNT for one that  didn't look like a little baby apron on me. It's a little twisted in this picture, but it did fit. Everyone else could use a $6 apron from Michaels and I had to buy a $25 one from Sur Le Table.  That's enough of that nonsense. Last year I was a Starbucks barista, specifically because I could wear an apron. It's sad when you feel you look your best in an apron.
So, that's me currently. What should I be next year? I'd love for it not to involve an apron...

1 comment:

  1. Denise, you are a great gal! I LOVE your writing voice and your candor. Your saying, be kinder than necessary because everyone is fighting some sort of battle is sooo true! I'd put on every bit of my weight loss back and give up ever exercising again for just one more good day with my Daddy.